Open up
It’s coming upon the anniversary of the first date I had with Mr. Geek. It seems interesting that within the past month, we’ve had a few discussions about opening our relationship. I’ve never been completely monogamous, but for one reason or another, my past few relationships have ended up that way. I’d thought Mr. Geek was purely monogamous, and I’d been debating myself whether this relationship could last, for that reason alone. So of course it thoroughly surprised me when he came at me with this idea.
We were casually chatting about things, when I told him that a couple friends of mine had recently run into an ex-lover of mine… and his wife. I didn’t know the deal with the wife, at the time, so once she’d found out about me, threats were made. (By that time, I’d already stopped seeing the guy, for other reasons, but she needed someone to hate.) Luckily, when my friends were noticed, the couple made sure to steer clear for the rest of the night.
“You know what your problem is?” Mr. Geek asked. “Yeah, that I shouldn’t have sex with married men when their wives don’t know,” I quipped back. “That’s right,” Mr. Geek replied. We laughed.
“So single men are game, right?” I wondered. Mr. Geek looked thoughtful. “Sure, why not?” he answered.
And so began our discussion.
Regardless of the outcome, this talk made me fall incredibly in love with Mr. Geek… like I wasn’t already. I’d loved that man since we started dating, but sometimes one thing will happen, and that’s all that was ever needed. It wasn’t the fact that Mr. Geek wanted to open our relationship, but that he wanted to talk about opening our relationship.
After several failed relationships, and one marriage that ended in divorce, I did some soul-searching (and some therapy) and realized that I need good communication in order to be happy with someone, whether that person is a family member, friend, or lover. When my last partner and I broke up, it took me at least a month to figure it out, because he’d just stopped talking to me. I never want to have that happen again. It’s torture for the person on the receiving end.
No matter what type of relationship you have (monogamous, poly, open, or casual), communication is one of the biggest keys. A lot of the other pieces fit better when partners have great ways of expressing themselves.
